Questioning my existence

I have recently moved back down limits. From 2/4 to 1/2 to .5/1. It's pretty sad actually, I'm not sure how I got this bad. Maybe the stress of school and the lack of play could have an impact or it could just be bad luck altogether combined with tilt. Yesterday I entered into a sattelite for a 300 dollar 350k guaranteed tournament and these s&g's are the easiest games by far. These are absolute morons playing. I think this may be the reason why there is so much money in tournaments... and I like it. I think I'll start playing more tournaments whenever I get a chance but they take up whole days.
I got my money in late in the tournament with 1010 vs 88 but I was shortstacked so oh well. After my friend staked me to play 1knl with him. I bought in for 500 and worked my way up to 1.7k.
With 2 early limpers I raised to about 54 with 1010, both call, flop comes
6d6d5 I bet 3/4, 1 calls, 1 raises HUGE. This was a "hello I'm here sign" that he had the flush draw. I push him for like 350-400 more he calls with 8 10 of dims and hits his flush. Actually I just learned that my odds were only a 65 to 35% favorite. I never valued flush draws so high until now. It wasn't that bad of a beat, but for a 2.3k pot.. jeez. My luck has been horrible but thinking about how many idiots are still out there really has boosted my confidence.

-300 on full tilt
About 18k ytd?

I can't play better!

Well I could... but that would be hard. I've gotten sucked out on 4 times today.. pretty bad. It's okay because i can always remember how lucky I was to win 2 tournaments. Here's 1.. I'll try to see if I can find the others later.. I'm abou to hit up the casinos wish me luck.


Full Tilt Poker Game #1262344369: Table Ambler (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 18:17:30 ET - 2006/11/17
Seat 2: waitamin08 ($359.80)
Seat 3: SDeeSU ($204.15)
Seat 4: ram43 ($144.45)
Seat 5: Lucy2001 ($68.35)
Seat 6: Callide ($212.30)
ram43 posts the small blind of $1
Lucy2001 posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Ah Ac]
Callide folds
waitamin08 folds
SDeeSU calls $2
ram43 raises to $8
Lucy2001 raises to $14
SDeeSU calls $12
jpaznstyle sits down
jpaznstyle adds $80
ram43 raises to $144.45, and is all in
Lucy2001 calls $54.35, and is all in
SDeeSU calls $130.45
ram43 shows [Ad Qd]
Lucy2001 shows [3s 5s]
SDeeSU shows [Ah Ac]
*** FLOP *** [6h Ks 9h]
*** TURN *** [6h Ks 9h] [7d]
*** RIVER *** [6h Ks 9h 7d] [4c]
ram43 shows Ace King high
SDeeSU shows a pair of Aces
SDeeSU wins the side pot ($152.20) with a pair of Aces
Lucy2001 shows a straight, Seven high
Lucy2001 wins the main pot ($202.05) with a straight, Seven high
ram43 is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $357.25 Main pot $205.05. Side pot $152.20. Rake $3
Board: [6h Ks 9h 7d 4c]
Seat 2: waitamin08 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: SDeeSU (button) showed [Ah Ac] and won ($152.20) with a pair of Aces
Seat 4: ram43 (small blind) showed [Ad Qd] and lost with Ace King high
Seat 5: Lucy2001 (big blind) showed [3s 5s] and won ($202.05) with a straight, Seven high
Seat 6: Callide didn't bet (folded)

Raise it up...

This last week has been hell for me. Balancing tests school and homework with my passionate love for poker has been tough. Everytime I lost money in poker I just don't have that warm fuzy feeling inside me.Because of my 1.5k loss on pokerstars and inability to put more money into the site I began to think like the old days about how to improve and how to play hands. It really was to my benefit that I started to have withdrawls. I began playing with 450 and started with some 100nl. At first I was down to 300 but then soon rose to 1.2k in no time. After a few more up and downs I finally got to 1.5k then after another couple days of up and downs I finally got to 2.6k. It feels great to know you can start with a little amount of money at anytime and create it to be a lot. I guess money does grow on trees.

Update: Played some 200nl live today at a local casino and got pwned :( for - 300. It's okay.. I was playing okay and probably should have been up overall. (or in the long run)

YTD: No idea.. lets say 11k