I said I was going to baaaack. and I am baaack. :)

WHERE O WHERE do I start? I guess we'll go with when I stopped pokering.

I stopped pokering after losing almost all of my winnings from cash games on full tilt. I don't know how it happened but the last time I remember winning was when I had around 3k on a 400nl table. I guess I got scared, or more likely, wanted to be the best and to go even higher up in limits. I tried to play dumb poker. I probably was no better than a 25nl player. Way too many hands. Way too many questionable, which turned out to be, bad calls.

I took many breaks and would play only sometimes to only lose more and more of my roll. I successfully depleted my BR when I hit 0 and asked a friend to borrow 500 dollars... this was it. If I couldn't grind myself up playing 5 dollar tourneys than the game was evolving way beyond my reach. Slowly but surely I grinded myself up to 1k and gave 500 back. I then decided to be good in something you need to do it ever day so I committed myself to playing every day even IF I was in a bad mood.

They say that practice makes perfect. Anyone you see who excels in anything does this "anything" much more than the average person. My psychology professor says that practice is nothing. If you don't try to practice the right way you wont develop much. He said that perfect practice makes perfect. This really confused me but long story short. Play as much as you can and when you do play keep trying to get better but don't be disappointed if you lose. Trying "harder" doesn't do anything.

Anyway, I got second in a 22 dollar rebuy I played around 3 days ago. I felt great. My perspective on how to win in poker seemed near perfect even though I couldn't' describe it yet. Today I played the 50 50 along with other tournaments. I busted in every one just getting in bad situations and the blinds picking up monsters. I knew I was playing good though. Even though these bad outcomes had happened it really is important to understand when you are playing bad to when you are getting unlucky.

In the 50 50 I was doing good with a lot of playable hands and checks to my big blind. I went back down to 10k after a bad beat AK vs KQ but then bad beated my way back to 60k. After I eventually got KK and tripled up.

The final table was pretty interesting. I had a reasonable amount of chips to sail into the money so that's what I did. No reason to do flips at this point. It came down to 4 total who I eventually got great reads on. I busted the 4th place finisher and then made the play of the game. Blinds rose to 20k 40k and I had about 600k and the sb had about 400k. I immediately min raised when I looked down at QQ. The sb folded and the bb thought for a couple seconds and rrose me all in. I instantly called his Q 3 offsuit and took down a major pot.

When I look back on this hand I felt that because I made the min raise right here with my read that the bb will want to go "all in" on a min raise. To me this seemed like the hand of the game. Orrrr he's an idiot and would have gone in anyway if I raised haha. The world will never know.

IM BACK :D
S D S U S D S U FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT :D

HEEEEEEEEEEEEEES BACK!

Full Tilt Poker Game #6622728935: Table Kier (heads up) - $0.50/$1 - No Limit Hold'em - 9:04:46 ET - 2008/05/30
Seat 1: BIAZ07 ($225.15)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($392.50)
SDeeSU posts the small blind of $0.50
BIAZ07 posts the big blind of $1
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Kh Ad]
SDeeSU raises to $3
BIAZ07 raises to $11
SDeeSU calls $8
*** FLOP *** [5d 8d Qc]
BIAZ07 has 15 seconds left to act
BIAZ07 bets $17
SDeeSU calls $17
*** TURN *** [5d 8d Qc] [3h]
BIAZ07 has 15 seconds left to act
BIAZ07 bets $40
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU calls $40
*** RIVER *** [5d 8d Qc 3h] [2h]
BIAZ07 has 15 seconds left to act
BIAZ07 bets $157.15, and is all in
SDeeSU calls $157.15
*** SHOW DOWN ***
BIAZ07 shows [Kc Jd] King Queen high
SDeeSU shows [Kh Ad] Ace King high
SDeeSU wins the pot ($449.80) with Ace King high
BIAZ07 adds $100
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $450.30 | Rake $0.50
Board: [5d 8d Qc 3h 2h]
Seat 1: BIAZ07 (big blind) showed [Kc Jd] and lost with King Queen high
Seat 2: SDeeSU (small blind) showed [Kh Ad] and won ($449.80) with Ace King high

No one is donating -Moon Pt. 2

This has got to be the funniest hand ever.

Full Tilt Poker Game #3636705675: Table Padbury (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 7:07:42 ET - 2007/09/22
Seat 1: SDeeSU ($204.20)
Seat 2: simon-lee5818 ($285.40)
Seat 4: dial911imONfire ($207.95)
Seat 6: joymin ($259.80)
simon-lee5818 posts the small blind of $1
dial911imONfire posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [8d Qd]
joymin folds
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU raises to $7
simon-lee5818 calls $6
dial911imONfire folds
*** FLOP *** [Qh 8s 2d]
simon-lee5818 checks
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU bets $13
simon-lee5818 calls $13
*** TURN *** [Qh 8s 2d] [9c]
simon-lee5818 checks
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU bets $35
simon-lee5818 raises to $70
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU calls $35
*** RIVER *** [Qh 8s 2d 9c] [8c]
simon-lee5818 has 15 seconds left to act
simon-lee5818 bets $114
SDeeSU raises to $114.20, and is all in
SDeeSU: lol
SDeeSU: fold
simon-lee5818 has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU: fold
SDeeSU: i have u
SDeeSU: lmao
simon-lee5818 folds
Uncalled bet of $0.20 returned to SDeeSU
SDeeSU mucks
SDeeSU wins the pot ($408)
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $410 Rake $2
Board: [Qh 8s 2d 9c 8c]
Seat 1: SDeeSU (button) collected ($408), mucked
Seat 2: simon-lee5818 (small blind) folded on the River
Seat 4: dial911imONfire (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 6: joymin didn't bet (folded)

My Jamie Gold table talk really showed him who was boss. Lol he was on a bluff and had to fold, but... he only has to be right 1 in 2000 times. :D

"No one is donating" -Moon

I pissed this guy off really bad from a suckout earlier, so it was that much sweeter.

Full Tilt Poker Game #3583392060: Table Blooming (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 18:22:13 ET - 2007/09/16
Seat 1: SUPERCHELSEAFC ($81.35)
Seat 2: colonu ($97.25)
Seat 3: gtiman01 ($199)
Seat 4: MTDHT ($190), is sitting out
Seat 5: Tony Pisser ($202.75)
Seat 6: SDeeSU ($472)
Tony Pisser posts the small blind of $1
SDeeSU posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #3
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Kd Ks]
SUPERCHELSEAFC folds
colonu folds
gtiman01 folds
Tony Pisser raises to $104
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act <--- love the long think, go me. (jkjk I'm not cocky!)
SDeeSU raises to $472, and is all in
Tony Pisser calls $98.75, and is all in
SDeeSU shows [Kd Ks]
Tony Pisser shows [Jd Qh]
Uncalled bet of $269.25 returned to SDeeSU
Tony Pisser: wow
*** FLOP *** [7s 5d 2c]
Tony Pisser: worst miclick ever <-- lies!! haha
*** TURN *** [7s 5d 2c] [Td]
*** RIVER *** [7s 5d 2c Td] [As]
SDeeSU shows a pair of Kings
Tony Pisser shows Ace Queen high
SDeeSU wins the pot ($402.50) with a pair of Kings
Tony Pisser is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $405.50 Rake $3
Board: [7s 5d 2c Td As]
Seat 1: SUPERCHELSEAFC didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: colonu didn't bet (folded)
Seat 3: gtiman01 (button) didn't bet (folded)
Seat 4: MTDHT is sitting out
Seat 5: Tony Pisser (small blind) showed [Jd Qh] and lost with Ace Queen high
Seat 6: SDeeSU (big blind) showed [Kd Ks] and won ($402.50) with a pair of Kings

And here are some hands from the heads up from today.
This guy has supposedly stacked me for how much I stacked him today and he was getting really unlucky but here's my big winnings for today. Good guy tho.

cooler what can i say?
Full Tilt Poker Game #3598301540: Table York (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 4:17:05 ET - 2007/09/18
Seat 1: BikStik8585 ($199)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($409.50)
SDeeSU posts the small blind of $1
BikStik8585 posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [3s Ks]
SDeeSU raises to $6
BikStik8585 calls $4
*** FLOP *** [8h 2s 5s]
BikStik8585 checks
SDeeSU bets $9
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 raises to $28
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU calls $19
*** TURN *** [8h 2s 5s] [As]
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 bets $48
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU calls $48
*** RIVER *** [8h 2s 5s As] [4d]
BikStik8585 bets $117, and is all in
SDeeSU calls $117
*** SHOW DOWN ***
BikStik8585 shows [Ts 7s] a flush, Ace high
SDeeSU shows [3s Ks] a flush, Ace high
SDeeSU wins the pot ($397.50) with a flush, Ace high
BikStik8585 is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $398 Rake $0.50
Board: [8h 2s 5s As 4d]
Seat 1: BikStik8585 (big blind) showed [Ts 7s] and lost with a flush, Ace high
Seat 2: SDeeSU (small blind) showed [3s Ks] and won ($397.50) with a flush, Ace high

He later told me he was drunk
Full Tilt Poker Game #3598388649: Table York (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 4:40:09 ET - 2007/09/18
Seat 1: BikStik8585 ($475.25)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($323.25)
SDeeSU posts the small blind of $1
BikStik8585 posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Ts 9c]
SDeeSU raises to $6
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 raises to $20
SDeeSU calls $14
*** FLOP *** [Tc Th 8h]
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 bets $31
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU raises to $85
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 calls $54
*** TURN *** [Tc Th 8h] [4c]
BikStik8585 checks
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU bets $145
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 has requested TIME
BikStik8585 raises to $370.25, and is all in
SDeeSU calls $73.25, and is all in
BikStik8585 shows [As Kh]
SDeeSU shows [Ts 9c]
Uncalled bet of $152 returned to BikStik8585
*** RIVER *** [Tc Th 8h 4c] [Ac]
BikStik8585 shows two pair, Aces and Tens
SDeeSU shows three of a kind, Tens
SDeeSU wins the pot ($646) with three of a kind, Tens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $646.50 Rake $0.50
Board: [Tc Th 8h 4c Ac]
Seat 1: BikStik8585 (big blind) showed [As Kh] and lost with two pair, Aces and Tens
Seat 2: SDeeSU (small blind) showed [Ts 9c] and won ($646) with three of a kind, Tens

Not sure.... only thing I have to say is... "No one is donating" -Moon

Full Tilt Poker Game #3598417831: Table York (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 4:48:40 ET - 2007/09/18
Seat 1: BikStik8585 ($242.50)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($694.50)
BikStik8585 posts the small blind of $1
SDeeSU posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Ac Js]
BikStik8585 raises to $6
SDeeSU raises to $23
BikStik8585 calls $17
*** FLOP *** [5c Jd 3s]
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU bets $38
BikStik8585 raises to $219.50, and is all in
SDeeSU calls $181.50
BikStik8585 shows [7d Kd]
SDeeSU shows [Ac Js]
*** TURN *** [5c Jd 3s] [Tc]
*** RIVER *** [5c Jd 3s Tc] [3c]
BikStik8585 shows a pair of Threes
SDeeSU shows two pair, Jacks and Threes
SDeeSU wins the pot ($484.50) with two pair, Jacks and Threes
BikStik8585 is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $485 Rake $0.50
Board: [5c Jd 3s Tc 3c]
Seat 1: BikStik8585 (small blind) showed [7d Kd] and lost with a pair of Threes
Seat 2: SDeeSU (big blind) showed [Ac Js] and won ($484.50) with two pair, Jacks and Threes

Huge cooler

Full Tilt Poker Game #3598475823: Table York (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 5:06:25 ET - 2007/09/18
Seat 1: BikStik8585 ($361)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($766.50)
BikStik8585 posts the small blind of $1
SDeeSU posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Js 9d]
BikStik8585 raises to $6
SDeeSU raises to $23
BikStik8585 calls $17
*** FLOP *** [Th 8d 7h]
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU bets $38
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 raises to $110
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU has requested TIME
SDeeSU raises to $743.50, and is all in
BikStik8585 calls $228, and is all in
SDeeSU shows [Js 9d]
BikStik8585 shows [8c 8s]
Uncalled bet of $405.50 returned to SDeeSU
*** TURN *** [Th 8d 7h] [6s]
*** RIVER *** [Th 8d 7h 6s] [Ac]
SDeeSU shows a straight, Jack high
BikStik8585 shows three of a kind, Eights
SDeeSU wins the pot ($721.50) with a straight, Jack high
BikStik8585 is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $722 Rake $0.50
Board: [Th 8d 7h 6s Ac]
Seat 1: BikStik8585 (small blind) showed [8c 8s] and lost with three of a kind, Eights
Seat 2: SDeeSU (big blind) showed [Js 9d] and won ($721.50) with a straight, Jack high

I'm lucky 50/50 at best

Full Tilt Poker Game #3598541736: Table York (heads up) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 5:27:33 ET - 2007/09/18
Seat 1: BikStik8585 ($235.50)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($1,370)
SDeeSU posts the small blind of $1
BikStik8585 posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Th Ts]
SDeeSU raises to $6
BikStik8585 raises to $20
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU raises to $55
BikStik8585 has 15 seconds left to act
BikStik8585 raises to $235.50, and is all in
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU has requested TIME
SDeeSU calls $180.50
BikStik8585 shows [Ah Qh]
SDeeSU shows [Th Ts]
*** FLOP *** [7c 3d 6h]
*** TURN *** [7c 3d 6h] [3s]
*** RIVER *** [7c 3d 6h 3s] [9h]
BikStik8585 shows a pair of Threes
SDeeSU shows two pair, Tens and Threes
SDeeSU wins the pot ($470.50) with two pair, Tens and Threes
BikStik8585 is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $471 Rake $0.50
Board: [7c 3d 6h 3s 9h]
Seat 1: BikStik8585 (big blind) showed [Ah Qh] and lost with a pair of Threes
Seat 2: SDeeSU (small blind) showed [Th Ts] and won ($470.50) with two pair, Tens and Threes

New fav player: Brian Townsend

I've been watching videos of Brian Townsend and they changed my game completely. Everything makes sense now. Everything I've done up until this point has been on feelings but now I understand why I'm making the moves that I'm making. I'm so deeply touched right now it's unbelievable. This is easily the biggest epiphany I've ever had poker related.

I'm probably the least cocky person I know. (I think that statement was an oxymoron... whatever) Anyway, up until this point I've really felt that I'm no better than anyone else. That if one of my friends came up to me and wanted to play poker I probably wouldn't be that big of a favorite. I really started to get that confused about poker and I think I really don't have enough confidence in myself. It's probably due to my bi polar disorder that I don't know about.. yet.

Humans are so emotional.. and I am so emotional about poker that you really can start doubting yourself at times. Poker really takes a toll on ones mentality. Any person who has been on a losing streak can tell you that. Thanks to Brian's videos though, I know I'm actually playing awesome poker went I start to lose confidence just because luck isn't on my side in the short term and it really has fixed some huuuge holes in my game. 5/10nl is just a couple inches away now. :)

Swings, patience, balance

I reached an all time high of about 35k a couple months ago and then it was down down all down hill from there on out. When I play poker I am contantly learning and comming up with new ideas for the game. Something that may work in the shortrun such as things like trying your hardest, putting a ton of pressure, and playing a wider variety of hands can cause side effects to your game i.e. tilt, wider swings, frustration, and drain your concentraition. You can't do too much of something or not enough of another thing. You can't play poker always the same or constantly different. I believe that there is an ideal balance on to how to play because poker causes us to become very emotional at times.

Only the last week did I try to fix my game again. I know that everytime I read or ask certain questions usually I find what I'm missing from my game fairly quickly. There are things that you have to learn off the table and some things on the table. Although it was a big loss, losing 25k was a lesson in itself. It really helped with my tilt and hopefully will take more to put me on tilt in the future.

I'm playing 1/2 short again 8 tabling and some tournaments and tearing it up. I won a tournament yesterday for 4.6k so that was pretty exciting. I'm playing the best poker I've ever played and fixed a huge hole in my game. What was it you ask? That's ganna cost you 25k ;).

Variance

How much luck is there in this game? I once read an article on Full Tilt that says poker is 100% skill. I'd have to agree. Poker isn't just about playing the cards, getting constantly better, having great reads, playing position, etc. That's only 1/3 of the battle. It's about discipline. Bankroll management and patience are required by any great player or you're just poorer version of Mike Matasow. There are so many different ways to get money out of your opponents than just putting it all in with a 80 20. It's getting to make him do what you want when you want. (Johny Chan once said this)

Last couple of days I was getting bad beated all over the place and getting into bad postions. I lost like 3-4k over 3 days. (The reason why poker isn't luck and that it's 100% skill is because of how bad of people there are out there and you can always go down limits in order win back your money.) At first I wondered if I was playing bad as I usually am when I lose. This time it was just a bad run of cards and the amount of variance at 600nl. I played today with the confidence that I was playing good and did really well.

I opened up 3 heads up tables and 2 hours later I was up to 3.2k, 2.2k, and 1.2k on 3 different tables.

Seat 1: fuzzy76 ($160.90)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($3,079.40)
SDeeSU posts the small blind of $2
fuzzy76 posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [4c Qc]
SDeeSU raises to $12
fuzzy76 calls $8
*** FLOP *** [3c 4d 9h]
fuzzy76 bets $24
SDeeSU calls $24
*** TURN *** [3c 4d 9h] [5d]
fuzzy76 bets $4
SDeeSU calls $4
*** RIVER *** [3c 4d 9h 5d] [4h]
fuzzy76 bets $4
SDeeSU raises to $3,039.40, and is all in
fuzzy76 calls $116.90, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $2,918.50 returned to SDeeSU
*** SHOW DOWN ***
SDeeSU shows [4c Qc] three of a kind, Fours
fuzzy76 mucks
SDeeSU wins the pot ($321.30) with three of a kind, Fours
fuzzy76 is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $321.80 Rake $0.50
Board: [3c 4d 9h 5d 4h]
Seat 1: fuzzy76 (big blind) mucked [9d Qh] - two pair, Nines and Fours
Seat 2: SDeeSU (small blind) showed [4c Qc] and won ($321.30) with three of a kind, Fours


Seat 1: pleasedontpopme ($372.50)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($1,980.80)
pleasedontpopme posts the small blind of $2
SDeeSU posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Td Th]
pleasedontpopme raises to $12
SDeeSU raises to $36
pleasedontpopme calls $24
*** FLOP *** [8c 9d 4s]
SDeeSU bets $33
pleasedontpopme calls $33
*** TURN *** [8c 9d 4s] [2s]
SDeeSU bets $99
pleasedontpopme calls $99
*** RIVER *** [8c 9d 4s 2s] [9h]
SDeeSU checks
pleasedontpopme checks
*** SHOW DOWN ***
SDeeSU shows [Td Th] two pair, Tens and Nines
pleasedontpopme mucks
SDeeSU wins the pot ($335.50) with two pair, Tens and Nines
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $336 Rake $0.50
Board: [8c 9d 4s 2s 9h]
Seat 1: pleasedontpopme (small blind) mucked [2d 6d] - two pair, Nines and Twos
Seat 2: SDeeSU (big blind) showed [Td Th] and won ($335.50) with two pair, Tens and Nines

Seat 1: XleprechaunX ($539)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($962.30)
SDeeSU posts the small blind of $2
XleprechaunX posts the big blind of $4
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Qd Qc]
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU raises to $12
XleprechaunX raises to $44
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU raises to $120
XleprechaunX calls $76
*** FLOP *** [5d 8c 9c]
XleprechaunX bets $419, and is all in
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU calls $419
XleprechaunX shows [Jh Js]
SDeeSU shows [Qd Qc]
*** TURN *** [5d 8c 9c] [6d]
*** RIVER *** [5d 8c 9c 6d] [4c]
XleprechaunX shows a pair of Jacks
SDeeSU shows a pair of Queens
SDeeSU wins the pot ($1,077.50) with a pair of Queens
XleprechaunX is sitting out
nitsud05 (Observer): nh
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $1,078 Rake $0.50
Board: [5d 8c 9c 6d 4c]
Seat 1: XleprechaunX (big blind) showed [Jh Js] and lost with a pair of Jacks
Seat 2: SDeeSU (small blind) showed [Qd Qc] and won ($1,077.50) with a pair of Queens

As this hand may not look special... to me.. it is :).

Last couple of days: -4k
Today: +5k

FTOPS Main Event

23rd place Wooohooo. I made a couple mistakes that's I'm not too proud of late in the tournie but I definately think I had a really good shot at making the final table if my last all in didn't run into queens.

I started the tournie just playing regularly. I got low on chips with my 5k starting since the blinds were getting a little high and some guy donates 5k to me when I had QQ on a paired bord. Early tournament players suck. After a while I started to get low again and made an idiotic call with 99s vs a persons QQ... but I luckily sucked out. Right afterwards I'm dealt aces and bust a short stack then JJ and push a raiser out of the pot. I'm looking so good with 125k... Afterwards I'm just getting bullied around. No one will fold to me and was only getting decent hands. I had to wait for the nuts... and turned out to only get it in with 50 50s several times and eventually got blinded down in 23rd place against a person's queens.

I know I sucked out a lot and it looks pretty bad but I think I played pretty well. I made like 2-3 big mistakes all tournament so I guess I still have some work to do. Hard to play perfect... I'm still happy the way I played.

Today: +7k tournie +1k cash = 8k
YTD: 23k