I think I can... I think I can

MOTIVATION (verb, n., adj.)- Something that is hard to get, keep, and want, but we all eventually want it.

History
Motivation has been hard for me lately to keep. I remember the first time I played poker. I was at a house in Oregon on a lake for vacation my sophomore year and heard that the house I was staying at was owned by a person who played poker as a job. This first blew my mind. How the hell could someone do what others do for their high point of their day... as a job?! I pulled out my BS card. I didn't think this was actually possible. Poker is luck.. EVERYONE knows that! They had party poker installed on their computer so when everyone went to sleep I started playing some play money. I learned that 27 wasn't good but couldn't understand how K5 was in any way a bad hand. I became addicted as I always do since I have that kind of personality and soon reached 12 million in play money starting from 5k. I knew I had something others didn't.

Real Money
I started to play small 5 dollar tournaments with my friends and it gave me such a fantastic rush. I felt red in the cheeks with my heart pounding 100 times a second everytime I got a good hand. My hands start to shake even now as I'm typing this.

One day I decided to play a 30 person 20 dollar tournament at some strangers house. I took first. Again, I felt like this was more than just coincidence.

Party Poker
I love this game. A game I loved doing I could turn into a job. I get butterflies in my stomach just thinking about this. I asked my parents if I could cash 50 dollars into party poker for 3 months. Those sons of bitches wouldn't let me. My own money. Rediculous.

I started to ask people playing 25nl if they needed any help. I was determined to play poker online by finding a backdoor. A couple people answered my spam. I would get their aims and they would tell me their hands and I would tell them how to play it. Fold, bet .75, call, all in. Pocket pairs just hit sets and AK or JJ and better bet big preflop cuz they WILL call you.

It was genius. I made 1 person 100 and he gave me 50 but I lost that. And another gave me his account and password and let me play on his account. I made him over 300 total and he gave me 100 total. I almost felt like giving up losing 50 dollars 3 different times. A week later 1 guy who I just gave advice to gave me another 50 dollars because he went on a good run. What a guy.. really. From that I went up, reinvested in myself and played higher limits.

Tournaments
Exactly 1 year ago I played a 6 dollar rebuy tournie (I know its tourney) and took first in it for a 5.6k cash prize. I was thrilled. Every moment of every playing poker. Ever rush I have even had. It all came to me in one moment. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about how happy I was. Damn that was sweet. Anyway, I again felt like I had something most others didn't.

Present day
After that I won another tournament with a 44 dollar regular buyin and took first for a 5.4k first place prize. I won 2 out of 5 big tournaments I played in and cashed in 4. Coincidence or skill? I say a shit load of luck but I for sure was better than 99% of the players in those fields. I've probably made around 32k total from starting playing poker and have spent more than 10k.

From 50 dollars that wasn't even mine, I did this. Moral of the story: Don't listen to what your parents tell you to do. Do what you want to do and think is best for you. Don't doubt yourself because they don't know what you know.

Motivation
Going back to the subject of motivation. Since I haven't played that much for a full semester I have really wanted to play poker again. Taking breaks are very good for you but they make you rusty. Try not to gamble at all and you'll soon learn how much you're taking for granted. The main reason that I think I wanted to play poker so much was to show my parents wrong. This negativism by them really helped me out which is so ironic. I actually don't have a high regard for money. I have a high regard for its symbolism... I guess you can say... even tho they still give me a lot of shit for playing poker. :) (I wrote an article about this once)

Prove everyone wrong... do what everyone else believes is luck and enjoy what you do.

----

Full tilt: +2200

Poker is hard

Poker is tough. You go on so many streaks that staying in a consistant grove is near impossible. I'm not sure if I could play my best if I were getting bad cards and getting into bad situations because it turns into a downward spiral. What I mean is if you're winning you're going to be happy and make smart decisions compared to being mad and going on tilt. Poker is tough because I felt helpless today. Oh well lets hope tomorrow doesn't go so bad :(.

Whoever said poker wasn't hard, work, or a game of skill... I say, try losing thousands of dollars in a day and try not getting upset. And my index finger is kind of sore. I might need a bandaid.

Full Tilt Poker Game #1487941386: Table Quetonia (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 4:57:47 ET - 2006/12/28
Seat 1: Tattaow ($447.60)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($346.15)
Seat 4: HairyBalls60 ($300.35)
Seat 5: overhills ($92.45)
Seat 6: WPTfuji ($200)
Tattaow posts the small blind of $1
SDeeSU posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #6
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [Ah Ad]
HairyBalls60 folds
overhills folds
WPTfuji folds
Tattaow raises to $7
SDeeSU raises to $21
Tattaow calls $14
*** FLOP *** [Td 4s 5s]
Tattaow checks
bostongary sits down
bostongary adds $200
SDeeSU bets $19
Tattaow raises to $65
bostongary stands up
SDeeSU has 15 seconds left to act
SDeeSU calls $46
*** TURN *** [Td 4s 5s] [Tc]
Tattaow bets $150
SDeeSU raises to $260.15, and is all in
Tattaow calls $110.15
SDeeSU shows [Ah Ad]
Tattaow shows [Ts Kc]
*** RIVER *** [Td 4s 5s Tc] [6d]
SDeeSU shows two pair, Aces and Tens
Tattaow shows three of a kind, Tens
Tattaow wins the pot ($689.30) with three of a kind, Tens
SDeeSU is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $692.30 Rake $3
Board: [Td 4s 5s Tc 6d]
Seat 1: Tattaow (small blind) showed [Ts Kc] and won ($689.30) with three of a kind, Tens
Seat 2: SDeeSU (big blind) showed [Ah Ad] and lost with two pair, Aces and Tens
Seat 4: HairyBalls60 didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: overhills didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: WPTfuji (button) didn't bet (folded)

I thought he had an overpair. They were playing conservative and we both had big stacks. I didn't want to scare him away as this was 1/2 nl and I wasn't rr preflop at ALL. Check raise my ass... such crap.

Recap of today: I wasn't hitting anything. I wasn't getting any starting cards. When I had good starting cards they would fold unless I had AK and I didn't hit once out of the 8 times I had it in the beggining of my session. Loss was 1k. Things turned around when I started to hit a little while people would be going all in against me when I had an overpair or the nuts. Gain was 800.

Today: -200
Full Tilt: 1.1k

Gnight

Happy X-mas to me!

Things went really well for me today. I was playing pretty good today but started to play a little sluggish when I started to do other things like talk on aim or go on the internet. So I'm not going to do that again. I got up to about 900 pretty smoothly and decided to end once I got to 1k. I fell back down to 400 up and then played a hand against a guy who I had just called on the phone. He wanted to run tables but after this hand he didn't talk to me again. I had Ad4d and raised to 7 he min raised on the button. I figured he had a good hand though. flop comes A 4 8 with 2 clubs. He bets, I raise back and then he goes all in for like 260 more. I'm like 88???? Nah so I call and he had AK. These are the hands I'm used to seeing on party poker so it felt good when I saw his hand show. I ended the day 1.3k up after 1 last round of hands on 1k nl after this hand.


Full Tilt Poker Game #1471043437: Table Snow Flat (6 max) - $5/$10 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:34:25 ET - 2006/12/25
Seat 1: Smart LAG ($2,203.50)
Seat 2: SDeeSU ($985)
Seat 3: DrSpade ($1,314.75)
Seat 4: Leatherass9 ($1,424)
Seat 5: Grimstarr ($1,902)
Seat 6: masterdonk33 ($553)
DrSpade posts the small blind of $5
Leatherass9 posts the big blind of $10
The button is in seat #2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [9h Ac]
Grimstarr folds
masterdonk33 folds
Smart LAG folds
SDeeSU raises to $35
DrSpade calls $30
Leatherass9 folds
*** FLOP *** [9s Ah As]
DrSpade checks
SDeeSU bets $50
DrSpade calls $50
*** TURN *** [9s Ah As] [Jh]
DrSpade checks
SDeeSU bets $100
DrSpade calls $100
*** RIVER *** [9s Ah As Jh] [5h]
DrSpade checks
SDeeSU bets $250
DrSpade calls $250
*** SHOW DOWN ***
SDeeSU shows [9h Ac] (a full house, Aces full of Nines)
DrSpade mucks
SDeeSU wins the pot ($877) with a full house, Aces full of Nines
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $880 Rake $3
Board: [9s Ah As Jh 5h]
Seat 1: Smart LAG didn't bet (folded)
Seat 2: SDeeSU (button) showed [9h Ac] and won ($877) with a full house, Aces full of Nines
Seat 3: DrSpade (small blind) mucked [6h Ad] - three of a kind, Aces
Seat 4: Leatherass9 (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: Grimstarr didn't bet (folded)
Seat 6: masterdonk33 didn't bet (folded)

Night everyone. HAPPY XMAS. :)

+1.3k full tilt
YTD: Who cares

The poker life

Played some today and went up and down big time. Ended the day a little down and haven't move too far away from my starting amount on full tilt. Oh well it's good practice. I made a few mistakes today that I could have fixed with just more thinking time so overall playing today helped. I'm kind of annoyed though by the good cards I'm getting and the bad situations I'm getting in. Some are just unavoidable. Such as, AK hitting two pair on turn against a set with 2 flush draws out. Here's a pretty cool hand from today though.


Full Tilt Poker Game #1465671755: Table Amistad (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 6:17:26 ET - 2006/12/24
Seat 1: SDeeSU ($395)
Seat 2: Killerbees24 ($213.05), is sitting out
Seat 3: xxRed1xx ($286.40)
Seat 4: x_volta ($695.20)
Seat 5: mac28F ($504.05)
xxRed1xx posts the small blind of $1
x_volta posts the big blind of $2
SDeeSU: what a $&$$in call!
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [8h Ah]
mac28F raises to $7
SDeeSU: LOL
SDeeSU raises to $40
xxRed1xx folds
x_volta folds
dads account sits down
mac28F calls $33
*** FLOP *** [Ac 2s Qs]
mac28F checks
SDeeSU bets $40
mac28F raises to $203
SDeeSU raises to $355, and is all in
dads account stands up
mac28F calls $152
SDeeSU shows [8h Ah]
mac28F shows [As 4s]
*** TURN *** [Ac 2s Qs] [4h]
*** RIVER *** [Ac 2s Qs 4h] [Qc]
SDeeSU shows two pair, Aces and Queens
mac28F shows two pair, Aces and Queens
SDeeSU wins the pot ($791) with two pair, Aces and Queens
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $793 Rake $2
Board: [Ac 2s Qs 4h Qc]
Seat 1: SDeeSU (button) showed [8h Ah] and won ($791) with two pair, Aces and Queens
Seat 2: Killerbees24 is sitting out
Seat 3: xxRed1xx (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: x_volta (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 5: mac28F showed [As 4s] and lost with two pair, Aces and Queens

What a scary 4 :)

Your jokes feel so good.

You sandbagging son of a bitch. He's back!

Full Tilt Poker Game #1445989710: Table Cane Hill (6 max) - $1/$2 - No Limit Hold'em - 22:00:41 ET - 2006/12/20
Seat 1: Mr Takahasi ($102.50)
Seat 2: jitterbug200 ($357.05)
Seat 3: spheenx ($65.60)
Seat 4: skeetm0n ($200)
Seat 5: Jay_Rapleaf ($84)
Seat 6: SDeeSU ($230.20)
jitterbug200 posts the small blind of $1
spheenx posts the big blind of $2
The button is in seat #1
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to SDeeSU [As Kc]
skeetm0n folds
Jay_Rapleaf raises to $4
SDeeSU raises to $14
Mr Takahasi calls $14
jitterbug200 has 15 seconds left to act
jitterbug200 folds
spheenx folds
Jay_Rapleaf folds
*** FLOP *** [Th Kd 9h]
SDeeSU bets $15
Mr Takahasi calls $15
*** TURN *** [Th Kd 9h] [4c]
SDeeSU bets $25
Mr Takahasi calls $25
*** RIVER *** [Th Kd 9h 4c] [7s]
SDeeSU bets $50
Mr Takahasi calls $48.50, and is all in
Uncalled bet of $1.50 returned to SDeeSU
*** SHOW DOWN ***
SDeeSU shows [As Kc] (a pair of Kings)
Mr Takahasi mucks
SDeeSU wins the pot ($209) with a pair of Kings
Mr Takahasi is sitting out
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $212 | Rake $3
Board: [Th Kd 9h 4c 7s]
Seat 1: Mr Takahasi (button) mucked [Ah Qc] - Ace King high
Seat 2: jitterbug200 (small blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 3: spheenx (big blind) folded before the Flop
Seat 4: skeetm0n didn't bet (folded)
Seat 5: Jay_Rapleaf folded before the Flop
Seat 6: SDeeSU showed [As Kc] and won ($209) with a pair of Kings

Finally a little up on full tilt again. I've learned my lesson. Never play for higher stakes when you're rusty. Yeah common cents but... very important. Anyway I'm getting my life in gear. Passed all my classes with like a B average and I'm about to take 12 units so that I can concentrait on having fun, working out, and poker. It going to be a good next semester. Wish me luck!